The Aristocats

You had to know this was coming.  Any movie review blog worth it’s salt has at least ONE Disney movie review.  And let’s be honest, there will be plenty more.  This time around, I chose to review The Aristocats.  I am purposefully steering clear of my obsession with Disney princesses for this one, and focusing on the Disney Duchess and her family.  See what I did there? 😉  Yes, if it hasn’t been confirmed before now, I am a complete dork.  You’re welcome.  Anyway, I absolutely love The Aristocats (even thought I am NOT a cat person AT ALL), but you never realize just how controversial these Disney movie plots are until you watch them as an “adult”.  Let us begin.

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First of all, the soundtrack is marvelous.  MAURICE CHEVALIER SINGS THE TITLE SONG.  Does it get any better than that?  If you don’t know who Maurice Chevalier either get out of here or go look him up and enjoy.  FYI we’re still in the opening credits here.  Then, sadly, we must leave that beautiful song – BUT it is replaced by gorgeous artistry.  Like, I am legitimately obsessed with the way this movie was illustrated.  Second only to Sleeping Beauty.

DUCHESS TEACHES HER KITTENS MANNERS.  A cat can’t get classier than that.  Thanking a horse for riding on its back?  Love it.  This is followed closely by who is potentially my favorite character, GEORGE.  Edgar and George trying to go up the stairs is priceless.  How on earth Edgar can keep his cool and a smile on his face throughout this whole scene is beyond me.  But then I love when George and Adelaide dance.  Also, ADELAIDE WAS A FAMOUS PERFORMER WHO BECAME A CAT-LADY.  AND GEORGE’S GLASSES ARE PERFECT.  SLOW YOUR ROLL, EDGAR.  That money is not for you.  And none for Gretchen Weiners, bye!

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Can we just talk about the kittens for a second?  Marie has my favorite quotes of the entire movie, “Because I’m a lady that’s why”, “Ladies do not start fights, but they can finish them”.  But then she goes along to be the tattle-tale.  IS DISNEY TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING WHEN THEY HAVE THE BLACK CAT WANTING TO PRACTICE BITING AND CLAWING?  A little too far in my opinion.  And then the ginger also wants to be a dirty alley-cat… WAY TO RACIALLY STEREOTYPE.  Sidenote: how can Edgar make a cartoon cat milk drink look good?  Like I wish I was a cat so that I could have some.

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REALLY?  YOU KIDNAP FOUR CATS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT JUST BECAUSE YOUR EMPLOYER IS LEAVING HER MONEY TO THEM?  Does that make Edgar a “cat-burglar”?  First of all, even if Adelaide IS leaving her fortune to the cats, you still basically have control of the money.  It’s not like the cats can tell the police and keep you from spending it.  It should have been Edgar’s first red flag when he encountered the country dogs.  Fate was clearly trying to give him a chance to change his mind and stop his evil deed.  Also, the way the lighting looks in that scene, it better have been a full moon that night…

IT IS ONE OF THE SADDEST MOMENTS WHEN DUCHESS AND THE KITTENS ARE HUDDLED IN THE BASSINET STARING AT THE RAIN.  It’s kind of awkward, because they have puppy-dog eyes…  I’m also convinced that Adelaide is the ultimate cat-lay, because she just KNEW when Duchess and the kittens were gone.  ROQUEFORT IS THE LYNCHPIN OF THIS FILM.  If it wasn’t for that crazy little mouse, then the cats would have died many times over.  ENTER THOMAS O’MALLEY.  Every classy girl loves a bad boy, and I guess that goes for cats as well.  In case you are all ignorant little creatures, the voice of O’Malley also voiced Baloo from The Jungle Book and the voice of Roquefort also voiced Kaa from The Jungle Book and Winnie the Pooh.  Back to the movie… Way to go, O’Malley, hitting on Duchess with her kittens right there…  What a player.  I am loving the parallels of single men and their reactions to finding out that a beautiful woman is a single mother.  Luckily, O’Malley realizes what a jack-ass he was being and saves the day.  And Marie will grow up to be the biggest flirt.

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Okay, I lied.  THE GEESE ARE MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS.  Amelia and Abigail are everything I want to be in life.  But preferably with a green bonnet.  When they try to teach O’Malley how to swim, I die.  Although, they’re not as reserved as most of the English people I know.  Uncle Waldo needs to check himself before he wrecks himself.  I will now officially say that someone is “marinated” as opposed to saying that they’re “drunk”.  Way classier.

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CAN I LIVE AT THE ALLEY-CAT ABANDONED HOUSE???  Although I would not get much sleep, but a girl has to make some sacrifices.  LOVE the saxophone.  All those swingin’ cats, they have ALL the swag in this movie.  Especially Scat-Cat.  My only issue is that this group of cats is the ULTIMATE in racial stereotyping, via a children’s cartoon about cats.  “It isn’t Beethoven, mama, but it sure bounces” is definitely in my top five of favorite quotes of the movie.  Oh, I have one other issue: EVERYONE DOES NOT WANT TO BE A CAT.  I would much rather be a dolphin.  But then, I AM a water sign.  “If you want to turn me on…” WOAH DISNEY, way to get a little risque…

It happened, we have arrived at the final conflict, the epic battle of Edgar vs. Cat.  Who will win?  I’m assuming if you are reading this blog, then you have seen this movie before so I will tell you: DING DONG THE WICKED EDGAR IS GONE.  I’m not really sure what I meant that statement to sound like, but I only have one day off a week, so cut me some slack.  Anyway, this movie is a classic so go watch it again!

~Tales

 

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