Paris: When it Sizzles

Dr. Pepper, meet Audrey Hepburn.  Are we all good and introduced?  Perfect, then we can commence.  For everyone’s information, THIS MOVIE IS A SATIRE OF THE FILM INDUSTRY.  I love satires.  Many times we have the same opinions.  Throughout this particular review, I will be quoting the film because they are brilliant.

Paris 4

Hello Monte Carlo.  Wait, where are you going Monte Carlo?  Oh, look, it’s Paris.

“Never answer a question with a question.  Is that clear?”  “Did I?”

Richard Benson (William Holden) is over-the-top sarcastic and a douche-bag.  Gabrielle Simpson (Audrey Hepburn), however, goes with the flow, but seems a little too cool.  This film makes me wonder how many others were initially written in two days.  But it is refreshing that the latest technology in this film is only a typewriter.  This movie is basically one long conversation between Benson and Simpson, which I love.  I’m sad to say that I’m not a huge fan of Audrey’s clothes in this film.  They’re not ugly, just not my ideal style.  The sexual tension between the two main characters is beyond obvious.  On purpose of course, but it still makes me cringe a little.

Paris 2

“Depravity can be terribly boring if you don’t smoke or drink, but a person does have to try to grow.”

“You really like it, don’t you? Life?”  “Every morning when I wake up and see that there’s a new day, I go absolutely ape.”

Paris 7

“First good one I’ve had in four months. No, that’s not true. A few weeks ago I had an idea to give up drinking, but it didn’t photograph.”

TONY CURTIS HAS THE BEST CHARACTER IN THIS WHOLE MOVIE.  First of all, I love him anyway.  Second of all, I love his interpretation of a cliche southern-California narcissistic actor.  Pure gold.  I also love when Benson breaks down the screenwriting formulas BECAUSE IT IS SO TRUE.  Even today, movies follow the same formula.  Like, do the screenwriters think we don’t notice???  Also, the references to previous Audrey films are nice hidden treasures.  The screenplay is UTTERLY ridiculous until Benson and Simpson finally find their rhythm.  Even then, I’m not sure… No, if Audrey was ever in an actual movie like that I would  watch it.

Paris 8

“Spies in trench coats?  I’m afraid I got carried away, Miss Simpson.  We’ll have to go back.”

THE BOY AND THE GIRL MEET.  An international police force?  For all countries or based out of one?  THESE ARE QUESTIONS I NEED ANSWERED.  The one thing I do appreciate in this film, THANK YOU, RICHARD BENSON, FOR NOT UNDERESTIMATING THE MINDS OF THE AUDIENCE.  Obviously with that meet-cute, the two highly paid heads will go to lunch together.  Unfortunately that is followed by horrible dialogue between Gaby and Rick.  Too much.  Like Kardashian too much.

That whole vampire thing.  WAY BEFORE IT’S TIME.  This movie clearly knew what was over the horizon and knew just how ridiculous it would become.  VAMPIRE LOVE STORIES CAN LEAVE NOW PLEASE.  The only one I need in my life is Dracula with Gary Oldman.

A SWITCH ON A SWITCH.  Yes, yes, we get it.  The proposed movie plot is ridiculous.  Moving on.  Also, there is NO WAY that Richard Benson’s personality could change from two days around the “right” girl.

Paris 6

“I must say the mind reels.” … “Did you ever realize that Frankenstein and My Fair Lady are the same story?  One ends happily, the other doesn’t.”  THIS LINE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ALL OF US.  The other thing more important than all of us?  THE PARCHEESI GAME INNUENDO.

But in all honesty, I love this film.  It’s one of those things where it’s so bad, it’s actually good.  Plus Audrey could do no wrong in my eyes.  I love both endings.  The one for the screenplay and the actual movie ending, because they both seem more realistic than any other options.  And by endings, I mean about the shot and Benson calling Simpson out about the bird.

Paris 1 Paris 3

I think one of my favorite parts is that William Holden’s character is almost a 180 from his last film with Audrey in Sabrina.  Also, Audrey was very underrated as a comedic actress.  Those are some of my favorite Audrey characters.  She is great at playing an over-the-top character.  And her hair is perfect.

Paris: When it Sizzles?  More like Paris: When it Sizzles Out.  Just kidding.

Paris 5

 

~Tales

 

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