Fast & Furious

Now things are REALLY starting to get good.  Why, you ask?  A. Paul Walker is in primo babe form.  B. Pitubll dominates the soundtrack.  C.  It’s the first installment where the team is actually fighting for something.  The franchise returns to LA, so let the games begin.

4.6

It was a nice touch to have the opening sequence reminiscent of the first film.  Especially as the franchise is bringing back the original cast, plus a few others along for the ride.  HAN LIVES.  Or have we gone back in time?  It might be a movie… Or two before we find the truth.  Thankfully Letty has left her impossibly 2001 wardrobe behind.  We also have Don Omar and Tego Calderon, and I’m pretty sure they’re the Spanish versions of the two old Muppet guys.  Once again, Dom’s driving skills are basically heaven sent.

4.1

“I hear Rio is nice this time of year…. Ride or die, remember?” – THE ULTIMATE IN FORESHADOWING.  Letty is the face of the Ride or Die mentality.

I do wish they had given us some explanation as to how Brian O’Conner went from stealing evidence to becoming a federal agent “five years later”.  I can’t complain too much, because Paul Walker really know how to work that suit.  Literally though, the first 10 minutes of this movie is information overload.  WHY IS LETTY GONE?  HOW DARE SOMEONE MURDER HER!  Clearly said person does not know what kind of war they started.  That’s like taking Liam Neeson’s daughter.  Another question though, who in their right mind would let Brian O’Conner have ANYTHING to do with capturing Dominic Toretto?  Are they insane?

4.4

Interesting how Dom and Brian just “happen” to cross paths while looking for the same guy…  Or fate, whatever.  So at this point, they’re either going to kill each other or let bygones be bygones.  But that fourth guy in the race who asks, “Who’s closing these streets?”  Seriously?  Someone’s a little naive.  And why must Brian always point out that “he almost had Dom” or that Dom “cheated”?  Let’s take some responsibility, O’Conner.

4.3

LOVE the conversation with Dom, Brian, and Campos, “He used to date my sister”.  Understatement of the century.  And then basically nothing happens until we all take a ride down to Mexico.  You know, they never actually address Gisele by name.  Again, maybe it will take a movie or two to actually hear her name.  After watching this franchise many, many times, you really begin to notice the tiniest details.

Sidenote: Stasiak is a douche.

Now it’s time for an installment of Sophie’s Choice.  Brian must choose between his job and his own moral compass.  Will he help Dom again OR will he decide to actually obey the law for once?  STAY TUNED KIDS.  Oh wait, Dom is bleeding and Brian’s White Knight complex appears to save us all!  But can I be candid?  Clearly the best scenes are when Brian, Mia, and Dom are all together.  Duh, family FO’ LIFE.  Also, Brian and Mia are the perfect couple.  SPOILER ALERT: Their children will win the genetic lottery.

4.5

“Nothing really matters unless you have a code.” – LOVE AND FAMILY, WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT?  That’s literally the basis of this entire frachise.  PLOT TWIST: “When were you gonna tell me you were running Letty?!”  Seriously, though, from this point on the plot twists just keep on coming.  But the important thing is that true love conquers all, right?

4.2

Overall, one of my preferred Fast and Furious movies.  Not the best, but a VAST improvement from the third one.

~Tales

 

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Pitch Perfect

You HAD to know that this one was coming…  I mean, Pitch Perfect is only one of the greatest comedies of the 21st century.  Which is a legitimate thing to say, because we are 15 years in and going strong.  Obviously, this movie is great, but I don’t want to have a 5,000 word blog post, so I will try to contain myself while writing.  ANYWHO… Are you ready to get pitch-slapped with some aca-awesomeness?

They did not miss a beat, having the Universal Studios theme music done in a-capella.  The beginning is marvelous, two minutes in and we already have 10ish solid one-liners AND a mic-drop.  THAT’S when you know this movie means business.  Oh, I’m sorry, they actually prove that in the Barden Bella’s first number.

*FOUR MONTHS LATER*

We cut to “present day” at Barden University.  Where we hear a “sick beat” (take THAT T-Swift).  This movie is basically everything a real-life college student wishes college was like (eg. dorm room size, beautiful people, Skylar Astin, etc.).  I am also convinced that this movie does not contain a scene without a great and immensely quotable line.  Side note: if THAT is what being a man is all about at Barden University, then I fear for humanity.

Oooooh, Aubrey, a type-A pain in my ass.  AND FOR THE MAIN EVENT…. FAT AMY!  Literally, Pitch Perfect would be nothing without her.  She’s the best singer in Tasmania with teeth.  I am also pretty good at mermaid dancing, Fat Amy, we should be best friends.

“Aca-scuse me?  Singing and dancing to a Mariah Carey chart-topper is not ‘lame’.” – One of my favorite lines, unfortunately I haven’t had a chance to use it in my daily life yet.  If you have any suggestions, please let me know!  But for real though, who goes around a college activities fair and calls a group lame to their face?  ESPECIALLY when you are only a freshman, that in fact, does not know everything?  Sooo disrespectful.

Aubrey

On a happier/sadder note, Benji is the most adorable character and a close second to Fat Amy.  I wouldn’t mind a little back story on Luke, the station manager.  Like, why is he in America?  Is it to be a dick, because he’s doing a great job at that.  In other news, I KID YOU NOT, Jesse is everything I’ve ever wanted in a boyfriend: hilarious, LOVE movies (especially 80s classics), talented, and a heart of gold.

Jesse - Pitch Perfect

Then we have it, the shower scene.  First of all, Beca is SUCH a hipster – “You know David Guetta?” and also VERY judgmental.  Second of all, I wish I had Chloe’s and Amy’s self-confidence.  But Brittany Snow’s satisfied smile is sooo creepy.  Audition scene:  I am Justin, you are Justin, we are all Justin.  It’s just the sad, sad world we live in. I love the insult towards “Glee” in McLovin’s monologue.   HELLO Esther Dean!  *sings Drop It Low*  That shirt does wonders for Jesse’s biceps, he should only ever wear that.

Benji - Pitch Perfect

Say it with me: “I, *sings name*, promise to fulfill the duties and responsibilities of a Bella woman.  And I solemnly promise to never have sexual relations with a Treblemaker, or may my vocal chords be ripped out by wolves….” *coughunlessitsJessecough*  AND THEN WE HAVE THE SADDEST SCENE IN THE MOVIE WHEN BENJI IS SINGING TO HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM.  *heart breaks into a million pieces*

RIFF-OFF:  Ladies of the 80’s?  I think the movie execs went through my iPod before filming this scene.  Jesse is literally singing to me when he breaks out into Foreigner’s “Feels Like the First Time”.  “No Diggity” – bringing people together since the 90’s.  Seriously, Pitch Perfect brought this Blackstreet tune back to life.  Perfection.

Barden Bellas

One step forward, three steps back:  Beca finally invites Jesse over to hang out in her dorm room and she asks the really important questions like, “What does Judd Nelson eat for breakfast?”  BUT, everything falls apart when Beca is a bitch.  Again.  Fat Amy saves the competition with her soul-singing, but then goes on to get a little too into an aca-brawl.  Benji is a class act, still cheering on his roommate and the Treblemakers, despite being denied by them.  TURK.  That’s all.  SERIOUSLY THOUGH, Jesse straight-up RUNS to help Beca and she is just the biggest bitch in the movieverse.

“Sisqo live is the best performer” – Bumper.  This entire sequence at the gas station and on both buses is probably my favorite.  Mainly because Fat Amy is gonna finish Bumper like a cheesecake.  Also because no matter what anyone says, I love Miley.  I will say, Fat Amy and I are a lot alike.  She and I both sing to avoid answering uncomfortable questions.

Fat Amy

The depressing spring break scene always makes me want to watch The Breakfast Club.  A true classic.  I love Chloe’s outfit when the Barden Bellas swing back into action.  Jesse has every right to shut the door in Beca’s face.  Aaaand then Aubrey and Chloe snap.  It is so disgusting.  But the confession circle is gold and the “Just the Way You Are/Just a Dream” mash-up is what dreams are made of.

Fat Amy - Enough

Confession time:  I wish I could win trophies by making music with my mouth.  On that note (A-CAPELLA PUN), it’s the “Final Countdown“.  Once again, Benji is breaking hearts, but this time also taking names.  And then… words can’t describe the emotions that the Bella’s final number inspire.

Jesse and Benji

Aca-mazing.

~Tales

 

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